Beginners Blogging Tips for Fossilized Clams

Mar 14, 2008

Beginners Blogging Tips for Fossilized Clams

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Do you want to blog a write the right way?

Wait a sec; that bit of New Grammar shouldn’t have gotten by my eagle eye. Let me rephrase the question:

Do you want to write a blog correctly the first time?

No, wait, it’s still not quite there….

I GOTS IT!

<ahem>

Do you want to write correctly a blog….the first time?

Well? Do you? But immediately after that blazingly challenging notion enters your brain, do you freeze up faster than a fossilized clam and say to yourself,

"Self, ummm, errrrr, geee, hmmmm….how do I even BEGIN blogging?"

If so, not to fear! If the last time you wrote essays and stories and ideas was back for your SAT in high school when you were foot loose and fancy free and not burdened by college debts or making mortgage payments or gently explaining to your children that NO, we do NOT flush peeled bananas down the toilet….you’re not alone!

Quite frankly, beginning a blog can be very un-nerving to a good many people. If you’re not used to freeing your inner muse and letting the words flow, staring at a blank screen and wondering what to say can be downright paralyzing.

But not to fear, intrepid reader, for you are bold, you are determined, you are Man or Woman…BUT!! You are No Longer Fossilized Clam!

"Why, I hear you ask?"

Because I am going to teach you the greatest success known for successful writing, discovered by Tom Lehrer himself! Plagiarize!

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else’s work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don’t shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize…
Only be sure always to call it please, "research".

Well, okay, no. Don’t plagiarize - for one thing, it will be spied faster than a blogger notices when Feedburner shows a negative registration count, and two, there are tons of resources online that help other bloggers uncover when their work is plagarized. Some super resources include:

So…plagiarism - bad thing. No no no.

So what ARE some beginners blogging tips for newbies online?

Glad you asked! Here are three of my favorites.

1.) Let the Force flow though you! In other words, don’t force yourself to think…instead, breathe deeply, calmly, and allow your mind to wander. Great writing cannot be commanded; make certain you choose to write in a stress-free environment that contributes towards your focus. Here are some resources for that:

2.) Give yourself to unlikely inspiration. Have you ever experienced watching a glorious sunset and immediately thinking, oh yeah that’s right, I have to paint the garage? Or perhaps have you ever stubbed your toe and immediately realized, eeek, I forgot to finish grocery shopping?

Your mind will make connections in the most unusual ways possible! But if you stay alert to these random seeks in your thought proceses, you might discover the perfect beginning, middle or end to a killer blog post. Consider these nifty ideas:

3.) Write about what you love. Don’t start off and think you have to craft the Epic Award Winning Blog Post Worthy of Homeric Sagas! When you’re a beginner blogger, write about what interests YOU. Get used to writing! After all, if your blog subject is as exciting to you as watching paint dry or fists fly or turtles sigh, chances are…you’re going to write a lousy post that’s more boring to read than counting sand grains on a Hawaiian beach.

You will have time to grow! Let’s say that your blog starts focuses on toy trains. Instead of writing your first post about how to get Toy Trains! the most money from your 1923 Lionel Purpose Extravaganza Caboose Car, write about how your love of trains developed over your life. Write about your first model train acquisition as an adult! Write about that one tremendous model train find you uncovered at last year’s garage sale.

See what I mean? You don’t have to get all holy-research-like for your first blog posts….instead, let your heart and soul shine through and infuse your blog postings with your unique personality. It will make your writings that much more compelling.

One of the bits of wisdom I enjoy communicating to my kids is that, Tomorrow….it’s another day! You don’t have to angst if today is not perfect (especially if you’re a beginning at the task at hand). Remember:

Rome wasn’t built in a day
PMS never ends in 2 minutes
Teenagers don’t gain wisdom after only 18 years

Do take the time to internalize the above 3 points. It’s okay to start, stop and start again! And as you gain experience and confidence, your fossilized clam-ness will be something of Ancient History. And that…you can take to the bank.

ThankYouVeryMuch!

Owlbert

#BEGIN highlights of this blog writing post:

Beginners blogging tips: Don’t panic and yield to fossilized clam writing paralysis. Give yourself permission to take it one step at a time.

Intermediate and/or Advanced blogging tips: Go out and gain inspiration via your daily routine; don’t sit in front of the computer and stare for 7 hours, waiting for a miracle to happen. Refresh your outlook and free yourself to imagine ideas that had never occured to you before.

#END highlights of this blog writing post

ps - did you know fossilized clams are actually well-versed in scientific carbon dating research?

pps - and they’re stylish fashion statements too!

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(By the way, if you have any questions about the topics in this posting "Beginners Blogging Tips for Fossilized Clams", do comment below - I'll try to clarify any issues).

Barbara Ling and Owlbert

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