How far would YOU go to understand and teach?

May 3, 2008

How far would YOU go to understand and teach?

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Morning,

You know, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.

You might not know today, or you might not know next month, or you might not know 4 years from now…but everything really does happen for a reason.

I can look back on my decades of living experience and "connect the dots", so to say, with just about every path my life has taken. Every choice I have made, every conscious decision that resulted in an action….in hindsight, they all combine to make me the person I am today.

Which brings me to the following topic. I am big on taking ownership of persona actions AND personal reactions. People CANNOT hurt or disappoint me unless I give them that power over me.

This extends to my family, of course. But for my family….such power is a worthwhile gift. What kind of parent or spouse would I be if I WASN’T affected by my children, my husband?

It’s when you start extending this to your business, your friends, your network, that things get somewhat, ahem, non-optimal.

How many times have you as a blogger written out your heart and soul because you KNEW what you had to offer was valuable beyond measure….only to have your readers not recognize that fact until months or even years later?

How many times have you said to yourself, okay, I’m going to go out of my way for my colleagues and proactively share resources/secrest that would slash off hours of work or flatten learning curves to ant-sized levels…only to have it accepted with no recognition?

How many times have you implemented tough love for your kids because you knew that the pain they go thru today would save them from really horrible happenings in the future?

Well?

It’s at times like this I’m reminded of my favorite author, Donna Gillespie, and her magnificent books The Light Bearer and Lady of the Light. In a key pivotable scene, Auriane asks the seeress for reassurance about her disappeared daughter. And Ramise says:

…"Your true enemy, Auriane, is the part of you that you fancy is most reasonable - that’s so certain it knows what’s right. You’re disappointing me. How, by the powers, did you lull yourself into thinking the world wouldn’t fall apart? Didn’t it, before? Doesn’t it always?"

Some things…never change. It’s up to you to accept the way things are…and not how you want them to be.

If nothing else, I hope to instill the above into my kids. They, like me, are extremely compassionate, giving people…and such a thing, alas, is a perfect recipe for getting real hurt real soon in life. But by taking ownership of their actions, even if no appreciation is received….they are freed from any pain that might happen in the future.

What about you? Are you big enough to accept that people are under no obligation to accept your help, even if it’s from the heart…and be okay with that? If not, I have a bit of advice for you: don’t give your colleagues that power over you.

Retain that power yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much stronger you become.

Enjoy!

Owlbert

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ps - speaking about teaching:

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(By the way, if you have any questions about the topics in this posting "How far would YOU go to understand and teach?", do comment below - I'll try to clarify any issues).

Barbara Ling and Owlbert

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