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Picture the following. The sun was shining, the birdies were mooing, the cows were tweeting

(alright, that’s literary license - it was 4am so it was pitch black, my 15 parakeets that reside next to my computer were fast asleep, and ‘dere ain’t no cows anywheres except in my refrigerator, but hey - it’s a great lead-in!)

and I awakened to the lovely note from my child:

MOM! Please get me up at 4am so I can finish my homework!

“Certainly, dear,” was my mental response, “I simply adore having babbling kids during 4am when I generally get my best work done.” But motherhood is a hero’s journey…so I dutifully woke up DD and bravely sent her off to complete her homework.

After an hour, she requested that I come over and read her final glorious science project update. And sitting there squarely in big bold letters like a black bear basking in the sun, was the following painfully agonizing mash of words phrase:

“So we had like 5 pieces of wood to use.”

Had…..like??????

As in, you had exactly 5? More than 5? Less than 5? Invisible 5?

ARGH!!!!!!!! If there’s one thing that frosts my petunias, it’s the inability to use correct grammatical phrases while speaking, let alone writing! Ideally, you WANT to possess an ability to communicate that’s superior than, hmmm, an overgrown wart, wouldn’t you agree?

That by itself would be agonizing enough…but 2 more “likes” had infested that essay as well. Twas like a razor-sharp sword through the heart of Gleeful Parental Delusion, it was - my kid wrote something that could double as, as, like cow-field fertilizer! ARGH!

Which brings me to the point of this post.

When you allow yourself to slack off on proper grammar, be it

• “like you know I can’t think of a word, like that’s like bigger than 3 letters like”
• “Ur gr8 u no”
• “I adore run-on sentences because they let me add bunches of words that end up being BIGGER run-on sentences and can create big paragraphs from the run-on sentences that often result in super HUUUUGE blog postings consisting solely of run-on…..”

you run the very real horrifying risk of turning off your blog audience faster than dropping your cell phone into the toilet of tragedy and flushing away.

This is one reason why understanding and implementing effective writing styles is soooo crucial to you as a blogger! You never want to compel your audience to hear your voice in their mind with a negative interpretation!

Here are some resources to help you master that.

• How to write posts people will actually read
• Make Sure Your Blog Design Communicates Your Voice
• Love at First Write
• Where’s your blog’s unique voice?
• English Grammar 101: Sentences, Clauses and Phrases

And don’t forget the most awesome:

• Daily Writing Tips

Excellent bite-sized articles that can help you zero in on mastering excellent grammar.

Remember - you can have the most compelling content on the face of this planet…but it’s useless if nobody sticks around to read it to the end.

Make certain your readers “stick”. Use the resources above and see your blog readership increase!

ThankYouVeryMuch!

Owlbert

Related posts:

1. Viva the Easter Broccoli Bunny! Managing your blog readers’ expectations - Day 2 of 5
2. Getting slapped upside the headed courtesy of your pitifully dull blog writing voice
3. Viva the Easter Broccoli Bunny! Managing your blog fans’ expectations - Day 1 of 5
4. Seize Your Perfect Domain Name via The Owlbert Way! Day 2 of 5
5. Embracing the freight train of blogging frustration

(By the way, if you have any questions about the topics in this posting "How like, to like totally damn, like, your blog readership to, like, hell", do comment below - I'll try to clarify any issues).

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